I wonder what I was smoking, but ten years ago, I came up with these lines:
“Dignity is when my dirty truth is taken just like my honourable truth is taken. Integrity is being just able to tell oneself, what is dirty. Pride is inevitable when capable of dignity and integrity. Honour has a hard time getting along with all the three, in a realm of opposites. But vanity envies them all, and flees. Then, arrogance comes and assumes the three, and cynicism, not to be missed, goes ahead and challenges them all. Lunacy looks up for a sign, cowardice looks away, but the roadrunner, just runs for time.”
Words are important, as they have the power to define you.
Most people consider pride to be the remedy for all their maladies. Where they are wronged, they seek justice, not to preserve their self-respect and dignity, but to assert their pride over a metaphysical turf. But pride is a malady by its own right and cannot possibly remedy any other maladies. It does not stem from self-respect but a sense of exaggerated self-worth. No one is that important.
Dignity is the external manifestation of deep self-respect, while self-respect is a result of accepting responsibility for one’s actions. Dignity is probably the word the proud need to nurse their wounds. Now, you might as well “feel” proud at times, but it is always better to act with of a sense of dignity. Acting with a sense of dignity implies that your actions are based on your grasp of the levity or the gravity of the situation that you’re in. While pride can go to your head, dignity has the power to accord you a purpose in life.
Let me give you some context: Goofballs and tomboys are known to take things in their stride. They see the lighter side of everything, which I am afraid is not possible without grasping the darker side of things. They are likely to be taken for granted, pushed over and made fun of. A proud person would probably derive pleasure, even thrive on the pleasure they derive out of bullying these people. A dignified person would accord them the respect they deserve, even after sharing their light moments with them.
An excessive sense of entitlement is a psychological disorder. A proud person feels that they are entitled even though they act within the precincts of sanity. They feel that they need to be treated differently, respected differently and excused for their limitations differently. In short, they operate on a “higher” plane. It is however, a dignified person who operates on this plane.
At this point, I must say that a dignified person isn’t necessarily without flaws. But sooner or later, they become aware of them and act with the awareness. A proud person lacks the ability to learn from mistakes and move on, because they cannot believe they went wrong. They live in a make-believe world where their actions are beyond good and bad.
A proud person is like an inflated balloon who can be deflated with just a pin-prick. They are like a castle of cards that can collapse at the slightest whiff. A dignified person is likely to build themselves a solid foundation of values. A proud person considers their self to be a finished product while a dignified person treats their self as a work-in-progress.
Our society produces more proud men and women than dignified men and women. A proud person is also capable of deriving pride from an extension of themselves — including their gender, race, caste and community. A dignified person carries a sobriety that stems from a highly personal ethos. Ageism, sexism, racism and all the assorted “isms” of our time are rooted in pride.
A vanity-box is a prized possession of every growing girl. But vanity is not the exclusive preserve of the fairer sex. It is excessive pride in one’s appearance or achievements and manifests equally ugly in both men and women. Though they are worlds apart, a proud person can easily pass off for a dignified person. How deceptive appearances can be! If you ask Poirot, looking beyond appearances is the very beginning of wisdom.
To a proud person, a dignified person is a fake. To a dignified person, a proud person is a fake. It isn’t rocket science to guess who is a better judge.
